Modern life has pressed itself upon us such that we gather differently today than in yesterday’s era.  Future essays will consider characteristics and patterns of today’s gatherings, but here we look back at decades ago when life seemed a little slower.  In those times we see more rootedness.  In those times we see more connectedness.  In those times we see more meaning to gathering and life.  Within family, friendships, and community there was time for relationship.  Society and culture supported gathering and relationships rather than hindered it.  Such gathering still occurs somewhat in some areas of America and within many families, but it is not as natural as it once was.              

              In contrast, we find a measure of dysfunction in how many gather today, a topic which we address more deeply in another essay.  For now, we look back to past times for what was better then, in order to try to regain some of what has been lost.  We must also see how we got here in order to improve today’s gathering.

              Rather than idealize one era of history or get bogged down in debatable details, we will look at principles of gathering that are less emphasized today.  The principles which we emphasize are intended to draw out what was good in the past while we acknowledge that not all was good in those times.  We agree that there was no perfect era of gathering, but we look for a comparison to see how the present is changing for the worse.  Ultimately, we want a Biblical view of gathering to win us over, but as there is no social etiquette handbook in the Bible, we need to see how the Biblical principles have worked out in history. 

              In a prior age of less geographic mobility, people had more time to build relationships with roots.  Where families and communities lived alongside one another for generations, family connections and friend connections were a part of life’s background.  Repetitions of interaction drew individuals tighter and tighter into enduring bonds.  One was connected not only by one’s personal interactions, but also the interactions of their families and relational networks.  Your parents and siblings connected you to the lives of others.  Your friends overlapped and drew you more and more into the networks.  The connectedness grew by additions and multiplications of layers.  There was more rootedness when one did not pull up and move around as often as we do in modern society.  There was a wider and deeper connectedness that had developed over time.

              In those past times of greater rootedness and connectedness, life could develop more meaning together.  When life was more than one’s personal accumulation of experience, but instead a multilayered, interconnected web of family, friends, and community, one’s individual life had greater meaning in connecting with others.  The individual meant something to those around them.  Their actions meant something to the lives of others.  A loss for one was a loss for others in the network.  Mourning such a loss was a collective experience in which the primary mourning individuals were supported by the community.  An accomplishment for one was an accomplishment to be celebrated by family, friends, and community.  Even shame was shared by others in community.  There was social pressure to confirm to a standard, right or wrong it may be, when one’s embarrassment could deeply affect connected others.  One could not live as an island in such a connected community.

              Society supported this development of rootedness and connectedness.  While prolonged time in one place permitted histories of life to deepen together, society also pushed people together.  Common locations of gathering fed the process.  Common church life brought people together around worship and deeper meaning.  Shared life of neighbors over time built bonds of community.  Sports teams and activities brough not just the children together, but families and communities into a shared experience of striving together.  Community events nurtured a common experience of memories and interests.  It became an unspoken expectation to be a part of a community.

              Without pressing into the details of modern life, it is needless to say that we have less rootedness, less connectedness, and less meaning in life.  This change is not uniform across America as pockets of gathering richness do still exist in some families, some communities, and some churches.  On the whole however, this is difficult when recent statistics by the U.S. Census Bureau estimate that the average American moves 11.7 times in their adult lifetime resulting in a move every 5 to 6 years (1).  While some moves may be within a community, experience reminds us that corporate America frequently moves its managers and executives around between cities.  We are continuing to lose the benefits of long-term gathering.

Next in the series… “How We Gather Today”.

Reference:

Calculating Migration Expectancy Using ACS Data.  U.S. Census Bureau. Revised December 3, 2021. Accessed June 12, 2023.  https://www.census.gov/topics/population/migration/guidance/calculating-migration-expectancy.html.