Modern life has pressed itself upon us such that we gather differently today than in yesterday’s era.  Future essays will consider characteristics and patterns of today’s gatherings, but here we look back at decades ago when life seemed a little slower.  In those times we see more rootedness.  In those times we see more connectedness.  In those times we see more meaning to gathering and life.  Within family, friendships, and community there was time for relationship.  Society and culture supported gathering and relationships rather than hindered it.  Such gathering still occurs somewhat in some areas of America and within many families, but it is not as natural as it once was.              

              In contrast, we find a measure of dysfunction in how many gather today, a topic which we address more deeply in another essay.  For now, we look back to past times for what was better then, in order to try to regain some of what has been lost.  We must also see how we got here in order to improve today’s gathering.

              Rather than idealize one era of history or get bogged down in debatable details, we will look at principles of gathering that are less emphasized today.  The principles which we emphasize are intended to draw out what was good in the past while we acknowledge that not all was good in those times.  We agree that there was no perfect era of gathering, but we look for a comparison to see how the present is changing for the worse.  Ultimately, we want a Biblical view of gathering to win us over, but as there is no social etiquette handbook in the Bible, we need to see how the Biblical principles have worked out in history. 

              In a prior age of less geographic mobility, people had more time to build relationships with roots.  Where families and communities lived alongside one another for generations, family connections and friend connections were a part of life’s background.  Repetitions of interaction drew individuals tighter and tighter into enduring bonds.  One was connected not only by one’s personal interactions, but also the interactions of their families and relational networks.  Your parents and siblings connected you to the lives of others.  Your friends overlapped and drew you more and more into the networks.  The connectedness grew by additions and multiplications of layers.  There was more rootedness when one did not pull up and move around as often as we do in modern society.  There was a wider and deeper connectedness that had developed over time.

              In those past times of greater rootedness and connectedness, life could develop more meaning together.  When life was more than one’s personal accumulation of experience, but instead a multilayered, interconnected web of family, friends, and community, one’s individual life had greater meaning in connecting with others.  The individual meant something to those around them.  Their actions meant something to the lives of others.  A loss for one was a loss for others in the network.  Mourning such a loss was a collective experience in which the primary mourning individuals were supported by the community.  An accomplishment for one was an accomplishment to be celebrated by family, friends, and community.  Even shame was shared by others in community.  There was social pressure to confirm to a standard, right or wrong it may be, when one’s embarrassment could deeply affect connected others.  One could not live as an island in such a connected community.

              Society supported this development of rootedness and connectedness.  While prolonged time in one place permitted histories of life to deepen together, society also pushed people together.  Common locations of gathering fed the process.  Common church life brought people together around worship and deeper meaning.  Shared life of neighbors over time built bonds of community.  Sports teams and activities brough not just the children together, but families and communities into a shared experience of striving together.  Community events nurtured a common experience of memories and interests.  It became an unspoken expectation to be a part of a community.

              Without pressing into the details of modern life, it is needless to say that we have less rootedness, less connectedness, and less meaning in life.  This change is not uniform across America as pockets of gathering richness do still exist in some families, some communities, and some churches.  On the whole however, this is difficult when recent statistics by the U.S. Census Bureau estimate that the average American moves 11.7 times in their adult lifetime resulting in a move every 5 to 6 years (1).  While some moves may be within a community, experience reminds us that corporate America frequently moves its managers and executives around between cities.  We are continuing to lose the benefits of long-term gathering.

Next in the series… “How We Gather Today”.

Reference:

Calculating Migration Expectancy Using ACS Data.  U.S. Census Bureau. Revised December 3, 2021. Accessed June 12, 2023.  https://www.census.gov/topics/population/migration/guidance/calculating-migration-expectancy.html.

              Understanding why we gather can help guide how we gather with the hope of greater fruit from the gathering.  Knowing the telos or the purpose of gathering is important.  Broadly speaking, gathering has internal and external goals.  Internally, we are wired for relationships as we possess the image of God in man from creation itself which includes a relational aspect (see my paper on the Image of God in Man – coming soon).  Externally, the call to take dominion of the world through stewardship of creation requires a collective response which one person cannot fulfill. Understanding how these internal and external goals drive us and work out in life requires wisdom through study of the Bible and discernment of our human natures.

              Slowing down to understand why we gather will offer great insight on how we gather with others for greater fruit.  Animals instinctually gather in families and packs or herds.  In even this there is a telos or goal.  At the simplest level, this gathering is generally for survival.  At a more complex level there are opportunities for group actions which serve the higher goal of survival.  This may be the simple picking bugs off each other’s backs or the size of the herd deterring predator attacks.

              The higher consciousness and nature of mankind reflects similar principles but goes beyond instincts.  It includes complex and willfully chosen acts aimed at higher telos than simple survival.  Yes, individual and collective mankind pursue survival of self and species, but other values and goals are also pursued which do not directly extend survival.  Instead, they work to add to the pleasure and value of survival as well as directed towards obeying our creator, the means of our greatest fulfillment.

              Some of the higher goals of this higher nature arise from internal drives.  At times, even with humanity, the goals of gathering may be little more than the simple avoidance of being alone which is an inherently undesirable state if prolonged. From our creation, we were designed to “not be alone”.  We generally feel and function better when living in relationship.  At times, our goals for gathering go beyond this simple avoidance of solitude and focus attention on specific others in a particular relationship.  Affection towards another specific person in friendship or romance drives a desire to gather with them.  One desires proximity to that person in time and space more than just one’s imagination.  At other times, the natural bonds of family drive the affection and thus the gathering.  Parents usually like to keep their children close and siblings, though rivalrous at times, generally have an attachment driving a desire to gather.  Extended family share a bond that presses a gathering drive.

              Some of the higher goals arise from external drives or at least drives that extend beyond the internal.  External goals such as building something usually require a gathering of effort to create.  External goals such as providing a service usually require a gathering of multiple inputs of mind and body.  External goals of taking dominion and governing over a geographical area requires a gathering in as much as a going out to occupy.  Works of human production are greater when done collectively than when performed individually.

              Each of these sounds philosophical and dry at first, yet understanding how each drive you, can empower you to pursue the greatest fulfillment.  Greater fulfillment can be obtained when even the smaller tasks of life are achieved together.  The greatest human achievements arise from the collective efforts of such gatherings.  Mankind finds its greatest fulfilment in fulfilling the callings of God implicit in creation.  The implicit calling to gather in response to the “not good” of Adam being alone and the explicit command to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.  Taking dominion in obedience and for the sake of joyful fulfillment requires gathering.

Next in this series… “How We Gathered in the Past”.

              We were created for relationship. Though man may live alone on an island, we are not made to be a lone island.  It was not good for Adam to be alone (Genesis) so Go provided Eve and He visited them in the garden.  We naturally, by design, gather with others for many reasons.  This gathering can bless or can curse depending on with whom we gather and how it is done as well as for what purpose.

              We are not meant to be alone.  While many religions honor the hermit, such a state of solitude arises not from created nature but from distortions of natural order.  Even this relatively rare practice defines itself by the absence of others. This most likely arises from the fact that most people feel something missing when they experience a prolonged lack of contact with others, whether that is the lack of time with family and friends, or even more so when truly without any other human contact.  One might argue that they are recharged by short times of solitude, but that fact does not counter the point that such need for quiet rest comes after the benefits of relatively longer times of gathering with others. 

              When examining the necessity of gathering with others, some aspects of life are only possible in the midst of gathering.  While one may work alone for the sake of one’s own needs and goals, work’s fruits are multiplied when the gathered work together by the volume of what is produced and the number who receive the benefits.  While many games of Solitaire allow one to enjoy time alone, again we see that gathering magnifies the joy of games which can grow in complexity, in competition, and shared enjoyment as well as memories.  As one more example, while many have been ensnared by the lure of self-love, the love of others has both a command of God and a tangible pleasure when practiced.  In these aspects of life in our world, gathering with others offers opportunities for the fullness of life which solitude cannot begin to provide.

              Very likely, such a foundational necessity of gathering arose in the Garden with God’s creation of man as good yet not good in being alone.  With the creation of Eve, Adam had a helpmeet who not only walked in the garden with him but would be the bearer of future mankind through birth.  In a sense, God did more than add 1 plus 1, but set forth a pattern in which man and women would bear a society of mankind to fill the earth.  The gathering did not end there alone, however, in that God visited them in the garden and walked with them and talked with them.  Adam, Eve, and God gathered, and it was good.

              A discerning observation of present humanity supports the assertion that most of mankind possess a natural drive towards gathering.  Most consider it somewhat unnatural to completely shun social contact with others.  Such gathering provides opportunities for pleasure and joy as mentioned earlier not available to the one in solitude.  Those who shun social contact most often have experienced the dark side of gathering when it was done for the sake of harm rather than good or done inappropriately.

              This series on “gathering” will consider these truths and much more.  Though we must always begin with the “Doc-sy” of what is true and right, followed by the “Prac-sy” of individual daily choices, we inevitably get to considering how we “Gather” which is our present focus.  We will look at the good and the bad, comparing it to the good and bad of the past, considering what a true ideal of gathering might be, with all of this taken in the context of the church, the community, the family, and in various settings.  We examine how we gather and how we should gather so we can move towards the most fruitful and beneficial gathering today before our Creator.

Next in this series… Why We Gather?