After part one of this essay addressed the effects of easy geographical mobility, of excesses in extracurricular activities, and of age segregation on the development of family bonds, we now look at other forces and trends of contemporary society which press upon why we gather and with whom we gather.  First, we consider the effects of vicarious sports’ influence on our lives.  Second, we examine how the changing priority of finding life fulfillment in experiences alters the depth of relationships in gathering.  Third, we consider how expectations for achievement in life affect our gathering in the setting of labor.  We then further consider how these various societal trends influence the gathering of friendships and church relationships.  This all prepares us for the next essay in the series considering what true gathering would look like if we overcome the negative societal influences on gathering.

               Beyond the factors in part one of the essay, we also see the effects of the changing values of society as a whole and of its subgroups on why people gather.  The first example considers the influence of vicarious college and professional sports on why we gather.  While society has historically always gathered around forms of entertainment, our society has modified the Coliseum of Rome into our modern stadiums where we idolize the physically talented and gifted athletes.  The dedication of many to “their team” may extend beyond simple entertainment into obsessions.  Beyond the physical gathering for such games and competitions, the mass media’s ability for live coverage enables physically separated millions not only to share an event simultaneously, but furthermore to choose from a multitude of such events with just a click of a remote.  The lure of professional sports and the allegiance to one’s college alma mater often gather people for nothing more substantial than this common interest of which they are at best only a vicarious spectator.  At worst, the obsession can reap enough of their time and energy to lead to neglect of other parts of their life.

               Second, some priorities for one’s life fulfillment have also changed.  With less emphasis on the creation of lasting worth with one’s time, activities become more and more focused on the experiences of pleasure.  While creating memories with one’s family during the experience of a vacation are good, they should have more lasting value than just the repetitive need to find another experience which outdoes the last one.  This drive for experience manifests itself in the following ways. In the travel industry, marketing naturally sells to this drive with promises of experiences to remember but the drive spills over into other areas of life that are not as natural to this pursuit.  College life can become more about the experience than the education it is meant to instill as college campuses compete to have the coolest recreation center or the most robust social life.  For the older crowd planned communities promise all you need for daily life with every convenience in one pre-packaged neighborhood.  For some, the pursuit of some experience drives their choices and adversely influences their gathering away from interest in more enduring priorities.

               Third, expectations for achievement in life have been radically altered from early childhood on up to adulthood.  Rather than the olden days of rewarding those who excelled in a sport or at school, the emphasis has shifted to being sure all feel a part of the team with participation trophies and grading systems that avoid making someone feel bad for not doing as well as another.  While competition inherently grants some reward to those who win, more and more emphasis is placed on just showing up. We must wonder if this trend in expectations is playing a role in what we see as these children grow into adults.  As adults, many of today’s employees may walk into a new position expecting immediate respect and the rewards of prolonged service before they have paid their dues.  They may wonder why work seems harder at the bottom in starting out.  They then express their frustrations without understanding their supervisor’s confusion at their expectations.  In gathering with others in the business to produce and create, they may focus on what they are getting out of it.  While admittedly, some past generations could go to the extreme of overworking, some in this generation seem to want the benefits of having invested years into a work position without actually having to invest those years.

The Impact of These Trends Beyond Family

               These societal forces and trends not only impact on the gathering of family, but also upon how friends gather.  While common interests and relational affections still bring different people together, the bonds can still be weakened by ease of mobility and the superficiality of why many gather.  When families are moving every few years, they do not have as much time to deepen relationships outside the family.  Relationships of shorter duration can be easier to let go of as the work of maintaining such relationships at a distance outweighs the work of just finding new ones.  With the fast pace of life on top of this mobility, without some intentional effort, friendships can remain shallow.  In these situations, inevitable differences will have a greater chance of long-term division as there is less strength in the bond to prevent separation. 

               Neither do the superficial activities of life focused on entertainment offer the deeper bonds of achieving worthy goals together.  The strongest bonds of sports participation primarily come with the teamwork that wins a competition at some level, yet most of these “group wins” fade in memory as time passes and more important challenges of life arise, making the district and regional championships of past decades just a fleeting memory that few others remember.  As we age, we may gather around entertainment interests like sports or the latest band, but take away that superficiality and bonds quickly weaken without deeper roots.  Over time, more and more of the gathering is spent with those with whom one agrees on the peripherals of life rather than agreeing upon core values, the ground more fertile for deeper roots.

               Churches are not left unaffected by societal forces and are not always able to overcome the secondary differences when core values are not as deeply shared.  Being hindered in growing deeper roots by the ease of geographical mobility and less time together due to the pressures of contemporary life, they may succumb to division by secondary differences.  Simultaneously, in the interest of growing the church in numbers, the seeker sensitive approach often dilutes out the more committed Christ followers with those more aligned with the world.  This leads to more compromises and can begin to focus more on activities rather than doctrinal unity, setting the stage for divisions when differences eventually arise.  When the majority in a church body seek church for what they will get out of the experience rather than the worship of God, sooner or later the secondary differences with overcome the strength of the shallow shared values, driving the “body” apart.

               In the end, the practice of gathering in today’s society has moved towards patterns that hinder deeper relationships and hinder unity over deeper values.  The patterns of easy geographical mobility and age segregated activities combine with the seeking of superficial experiences in commonalities like sports teams make today’s society less enduring.  At this point, conserving such a declining culture and its consensus is pointless.  Instead, a restoration to God’s design for relationships under covenant around deeper meaning is needed.  Coming essays will focus on this work of restoration.

Next in the series… True Gathering By a Different Standard.