(Having described the dismal situation created by the worldly approach of patterning family after a non-Biblical pattern in the last installment of this series, we move now to considering a better pattern for family life that can effectively counter the mental health crisis.)

              If we humbly accept that the family unit, including the Christian families of our society, have played a role in the mental health knot by following the world rather than God’s design, we have a choice to make. We can continue this self-destructive pattern and wait hopelessly for the state or those with worldly resources to untangle the knot or we can turn to a Biblical pattern.  In such a Biblical approach we should evaluate whether our basic principles of family line up with God’s prescriptive and proscriptive principles.  The foundations of society in family must be directed at the “shalom” and “eirene” which I described earlier as God’s intentions for man’s peace in this world.  We must not only turn away from the world’s failed man-centered approaches but also turn towards God-centered approaches and goals.

              In breaking from the patterns of the present, we must start at the beginning with the correct beliefs about family.  From beliefs, we then move to knowing what to value.  After that we can change our actions and develop new patterns of family life which then lead to different outcomes than what we currently experience.  At the heart of the change, some of the core Biblical principles and beliefs underlying a God-centered approach to family include:

              Children are a gift from God to parents.

              Children are first and foremost entrusted to their parents for raising up.  

               Children are to be raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord.  

              Parents are accountable to God as stewards.  

              Parents are commanded to raise children to obey God.  

              Marriage is between one man and one women till death parts them or the covenant is violated.

              Children are accountable to parents and ultimately to God.

              Parents are under covenant with God to raise children His way.

              The goal of parenting is Godly children who continue under this covenant.

               Children are born into this family covenant with obligations.

               The family institution is a foundational means by which God produces both thriving individuals but also a thriving mentally well society.

(Psalm 127:3-5; Ephesians 6:1-4; Deut. 6:6-7)

               Such beliefs and principles then lead to values that we as parents then pursue.  Beliefs serve as the foundation for how we view the reality in which we live out family life.  If we truly believe these truths, we will choose daily based on these beliefs.  The impetus then turns to what we value, what we hold to be worthy of our time and effort to pursue or appreciate.  The world in its attempt to supplant God’s values claims the opposites of these values, but the following values must undergird the beliefs just mentioned:

               Godly children who walk in God’s ways are more important than worldly successful children.

               Pleasing God is more important than pleasing other men. (1 Thessalonians 2:4)

               While temporal life has value, eternal life has more value. (1 Timothy 4:8)

               Worldly pleasures which violate God’s Word are to be avoided. (1 John 2:15-17)

               Family relationships have a precedence over non-familial relationships. (Ephesians 5:25, Proverbs 11:29)

               Understanding the covenant we and our children live under is worthy of time and effort.

               We value relational connections over hyper-individuality and independence (1 John 4:20).

               A family legacy of Godly children is worth the sacrifice (Deuteronomy 6:5-7

               Once we come to believe the principles and agree with these values, then our behaviors will begin to conform to these foundations.  If our behaviors do not conform, then we must ask if we believe and agree as much as we claim.  Some, but not all of our appropriate responses include:

              Children are taught to submit to God’s commands.

              Children are taught Godly values.

              Children are taught to function as part of a family rather than only as individuals.

              Children are taught to consider family needs and the needs of others.

              Children are taught to honor the relationships within the family and outside the family.

               Children are taught responsibility which continues into their adulthood and future work.

              Children are protected and guided through providential adversity rather than solely shielding from adversity.

              Family relationships are honored by considering how our actions affect our family.

              We stop trying to replace the roles of the family with governmental programs.

              We stop following the world advice on educating our children.

              Individuals within families recognize their responsibilities to the family and act accordingly.

              With such beliefs and such values leading to these behaviors, we can realistically hope for different fruit than the current worldly approach.  We can look around us and see the obvious fruits of the present worldly approach.  These rotten worldly fruits are the primary reason we are having this discussion and looking for alternative answers.  Enacting more previously faulty solutions based on the beliefs and values of the world will only tangle the shoelaces even further.  Returning to the original design of the Designer becomes the only hope for bearing the following fruits:

              Emotionally more resilient children and adults.

              Such children and adults who are not overcome by the challenges of life in a fallen world.

              Families and the churches or communities arising from them which function more harmoniously.

              Familial, church, and community support networks which prevent mental health decline rather than looking to the state or worldly experts.

              Such networks naturally providing support at a fraction of the cost that government solutions cost.

              More productive individuals and a society without a mental health crisis.

              Children are taught to submit to God’s commands.

              Children are taught Godly values.

              Gods peace of “shalom” and “eirene” will arise more abundantly from such families.

              I agree that this sounds almost too simple and overly optimistic.  You will ask me if it is really this straightforward.   I agree that this is not that simple to carry out in our fallen world with both the pressures of false worldviews contrary to God’s standard and the realities of the fallen physical world.  However, I do emphasize that the work does begin with families committed to the Biblical standard for family function, relationships, and purpose.  Without the foundation of Godly families, the church must carry an even greater weight and perform much more remedial work in discipling the up-and-coming generations towards a Godly sourced “shalom” and “eirene”.  As we turn to the responsibilities and roles of the church, we must recognize that the church’s role generally flourishes more when the family foundation is present and sturdy on these principles, beliefs, values, and behaviors.

(With a clearer picture of the role the family must play in solving the mental health crisis, in the next installment we consider the role of the church alongside the family.)